The Death Card

So, a question that I have thought of way too many times in my life is if I could find out when and where and how I was going to die, would I want to know...And it has left me with different answers in so many stages of my life. 

When I was young I thought, "hell yeah, tell me now!"...I was young and felt invincible and tested the waters of fate by being a daredevil. I would think if I was going to die it was going to happen and might as well have fun on the tumble down. I had a fear of death...I think everyone, every age has a fear of it...but I didn't really see it, I didn't know it. It felt like this strange word hanging out there in the mist, I couldn't grasp it's severity...and finality.

But as I grew older, saw more people pass from my life into a place forever holding them, I grew more fearful. Where did these people go? What happened to them? Did they simply fall asleep or what? What happened to them after death? 

I know so many people that will say, "well, they are either buried or cremated and then they're returned to the earth or kept near loved ones". Others would say, "well, while their earthly bodies cease to operate, their souls travel to heaven to be with God". Still others would tell me something different...and so on and so forth. But, seriously, what the HELL happens!?!

I just couldn't for the life of me accept that we just closed our eyes, it went dark, and that was it...WTF!?! That could simply not be it. There had to be so much more to it than that. Could it be that we go into some dreamworld or something...probably not since dreams are created by our brains, the same brains that would cease to operate after death. Well, let's say we do go up to heaven (the real spiritual us), where the heck is heaven? I mean, it's up, right? Or is it down? Maybe it's to the left somewhere? Maybe in the Taco Bell bathroom? Who the heck knows where it is?

Holy Heck! I've really run off on a tangent here...Let's get back to the question...would you want to know when, where, and how you would die? In my later years, NO! I really have no wanting to know at this point when that might happen or any part of it...Because, if I knew...all I would do would be to sit and wait for that fateful day...or spend the rest of my days attempting to figure out how to cheat that moment of death (which I am guessing would be quite futile)...

I wonder how many folks would like to know...what their reasons would be...